It all started a year ago when the bride called to book the Old Mission Church in San Luis Obispo for the wedding and right away, she wanted to know if a girl could be the Best Man or Best Woman as in their situation. Since there was no canon law stating the sex of the witness for the groom, I told her that would be okay. From that point on, I had very creative and unusual questions whenever this wedding was discussed or planned.
Some of my phone conversations:
The bride: "Can our little Chihuahuas be the ring bearer and flower girl for our wedding?"
My response: "No, only Seeing Eye dogs are allowed in the church."
The bride: "Oh $%#&, we have a little tux and dress for them to wear in the wedding. Are you sure?"
My response: "If only the Pope had a Labrador in the Vatican, and if he would say mass in St. Peter's church with him by the altar, we might be able to have dogs in the church."
The bride: "Does my wedding dress have to be white? I was thinking purple."
My response: (Taking a breath) Yes, your wedding dress can be purple if you like. Are you really sure about that color choice? Does your Mom know? Does the Man of Honor know? Have you talked about this with anyone?"
I am desperately trying to save her from herself.
The bride: "I love the color purple! My car is purple, my bedroom is purple, most of my clothes are purple and I just had my hair stylist put in a purple streak in my hair for the wedding. I think purple is perfect!"
She was definitely living in her purple world with a purple groom. Oh well, I did try.
My response: "Wow! You really love purple. Okay, it's a purple wedding dress day."
The bride: "Thanks. Can there be black flowers on the altar?"
My response: "Sure, but we call those dead flowers here in San Luis Obispo!"
Thank goodness the bride and I had a fun working relationship and she could appreciate my humor at this point.
On the day of the event, twenty minutes before the wedding is to start, there are no guests arriving and there are no family members or wedding party at the Mission. I start to wonder if I have the wrong day and time.
Finally, ten minutes before the happy memories are to begin, the groom shows up wearing an orange tux that went shockingly well with his bright red hair.
I found guests walking around the Mission grounds looking for where the "wedding concert" was going to be held and did they miss the warm up band.
The amazing common theme of the wedding guests was their hair. Their hair was dyed like a cheetah's: yellow, black and with various sizes of brown spots! A whole bottle of gel must have been used to get the "lift" and "swoosh" in their hair.
Their clothes were very trendy, tight and black.
They were also very friendly, fun and understanding when the bride showed up 45 minutes late due to wardrobe malfunction in her purple wedding dress a la 55 staples holding it together!
I love Hollywood Weddings!
2 comments:
Cheetahs are scary... and fast too.
cheetahs are fast
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