The first to arrive were the aunts bringing the pew flowers who yelled at their husbands to tie them around the pews with pink ribbon. Have you ever seen burly farmers tie pink ribbon? It's beautiful.
The cousins arrived with all the flower bouquets for the wedding party and yelled at their boyfriends to lift the containers out of the trunks of their cars and pass them out to everyone. Have you ever seen handsome men with six flower bouquets, purses, more pink ribbon and absolute fear etched on their faces? It's beautiful.
The mothers arrive with all the ring bearers and flower girls and since they were doing double duty as bridesmaids, yelled at their husbands to take care of the children and wobbled off in their high heeled shoes. Have you ever seen laid back fathers care about children wearing pristine white clothes? It's funny.
Soon, the children are bored and hungry. They have explored the wishing well, played leap frog on the grass and found six grass hoppers hidden under the bushes. They converge on the fathers and start mewling,
"I'm hungry."
Mothers would whip out the water, juice box and gold fishes in little plastic baggies in half a breath from their bottomless black purses. Fathers scope out a candy machine. The fathers not only bought their little loved ones King sized Snicker bars, but it was all washed down with cans of Coke.
One Father tried for redemption and said,
"They (meaning the Moms) give them this stuff, right?"
The sugar hit in about five minutes and when we had to line up at the front doors of the Mission, we had a complete melt down of screaming, hysterical and sobbing children.
The mothers had the most confused, perplexed looks on their faces and kept apologizing for the behavior of their children. Over and over I could hear,
"I have never seen them like this!"
"Are there grass stains on their clothes?"
"They probably need a nap soon."
"Does Nathan have a bug in his hand?"
"They didn't do this at Mary's wedding."
"I'll give them some gold fishes when we get inside the church."
The fathers did not say one word. They had taken the Code of Silence. They were hoping they would not be asked for an explanation. I think I even saw one hiding behind one of the big stone pillars in the front of the church. Eventually, one of the bridesmaids (Mom) had to drop out of the bridesmaids lineup and herd all the children together down the aisle. At that point, there was not going to be any proper order, just a lot of pulling arms, legs and hair in some slightly worn white clothes going down the aisle. It's funny and beautiful.
No comments:
Post a Comment